So for the past year of N's life I have really been on cloud nine. Everything he does and says is just the greatest. Besides the lack of sleep, my little angel could do no wrong in my eyes (not counting some behavior issues that come from an emerging independent one year old). I have never taken any of his behaviors personally and understand that all of the good stuff is a blessings and the few issues are because he is human. That is until yesterday....
For those of you who know me, I am somewhat of a clean freak. Yes our small apartment is full of stuff, but I purge things at least once a month, dust faithfully twice a week, clean my floors every other day- now my floors are the clincher. I need to have clean floors especially living with a crawler and owning a hairy cat. I have a sign on our door for EVERYONE to remove their shoes and I admit that I am somewhat neurotic about it. Well my neurosis about clean floors is just not working with a toddler. I told my husband the other day and I need to chill out about having perfectly clean floors or I need to start blending all of my son's food and making him drink it through a straw- I seriously considered the latter option.
Yesterday in particular, he was such a messy eater. Breakfast was messy, lunch was really messy, and dinner was unbelievable messy- dumping ALL of his dinner on the floor. My heart was so angered and I felt as though he was out to get me. Unbelievably, I held it together on the outside and continued with his meal, but my heart was not in the right place.
Knowing this, I decided that I owed him an apology. After our nighttime routine of bath, books, and prayers, I looked him in the eyes of my fourteen month old and apologized for the anger that I had in that moment and asked him for his forgiveness. At that exact moment he kissed me on the cheek and put his head on my shoulder. Oh my word- my tears began flowing like the Nile. He gets it!- yeah I know not all of it- but definitely some of it.
God is working in his little heart and God sure did reveal Himself to me in that little sweet moment. I felt as thought God was reassuring me that I will mess up and the important part is that I recognize it, seek forgiveness for it, and pray for strength to not do it again.
So here is my encouragement especially for all of you parents out there, be quick to see forgiveness when you have wronged your children (or your spouse), you are teaching them so much by doing so. God so graciously forgives us and for this I am forever grateful!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
90 %
"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." By Charles R. Swindoll
This quote sure rings true many times in our life. It can be so easy to be discouraged, but at the end of day the "big" things seem small and the "small" things are forgotten. Hopefully the story about my day will bring a smile to your face.
Woke up refreshed after son SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT (big news around here!)
Made a 9am doctor apt. for his eye infection.
Asked Nate to meet us near the doctor to drop off car for oil change and then go with us to lab to get son's 1 year blood work (call me a sissy, but I don't want to take him alone!)
Drove to pick up Nate and then go to lab- except lab was not in the location I thought and was across town.
Went to lab, walked the three flights of steps- lab was closed.
Came home then out to get RX filled and buy lots of ingredients for fajitas.
Made all ingredients for fajitas- started to eat, and found out meat was bad :-(
Spent 3 hours putting up baby gate that says "easy to install".
Had another squirrel in our ceiling and dirt was falling all over my just mopped kitchen floor.
Made a new stir fry recipe- didn't really like it, but son loved it (repeated saying and signing more)
While making dinner dropped a Tupperware lid on the hot burner- almost set off smoke alarm in entire building- cat ran to the door :-)
Went to pool to cool off after dinner- wondered why it was so empty- started swimming and lifeguard ran over and said "get out quick- the pool is closed- someone just threw up in there" A sign would have been nice. :-/
Run home to take very long shower.
Put son to bed.
Husband decides to run a cable wire from the kitchen up to our bedroom- thus rodent droppings all over my twice cleaned floor.
Forgot to pick up car.
All in all, I am happy to be sitting on the couch about to watch a movie. And honestly I still consider it a really good day. We are all healthy, God gives us our daily needs, we have a nice place to live, and we have each other. I love my life, really I do.
Hoping you find some joy in your day today! :-)
This quote sure rings true many times in our life. It can be so easy to be discouraged, but at the end of day the "big" things seem small and the "small" things are forgotten. Hopefully the story about my day will bring a smile to your face.
Woke up refreshed after son SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT (big news around here!)
Made a 9am doctor apt. for his eye infection.
Asked Nate to meet us near the doctor to drop off car for oil change and then go with us to lab to get son's 1 year blood work (call me a sissy, but I don't want to take him alone!)
Drove to pick up Nate and then go to lab- except lab was not in the location I thought and was across town.
Went to lab, walked the three flights of steps- lab was closed.
Came home then out to get RX filled and buy lots of ingredients for fajitas.
Made all ingredients for fajitas- started to eat, and found out meat was bad :-(
Spent 3 hours putting up baby gate that says "easy to install".
Had another squirrel in our ceiling and dirt was falling all over my just mopped kitchen floor.
Made a new stir fry recipe- didn't really like it, but son loved it (repeated saying and signing more)
While making dinner dropped a Tupperware lid on the hot burner- almost set off smoke alarm in entire building- cat ran to the door :-)
Went to pool to cool off after dinner- wondered why it was so empty- started swimming and lifeguard ran over and said "get out quick- the pool is closed- someone just threw up in there" A sign would have been nice. :-/
Run home to take very long shower.
Put son to bed.
Husband decides to run a cable wire from the kitchen up to our bedroom- thus rodent droppings all over my twice cleaned floor.
Forgot to pick up car.
All in all, I am happy to be sitting on the couch about to watch a movie. And honestly I still consider it a really good day. We are all healthy, God gives us our daily needs, we have a nice place to live, and we have each other. I love my life, really I do.
Hoping you find some joy in your day today! :-)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sweet, Sweet Summer
Woah, I am overwhelmed with the feeling that summer is truly here. I am so grateful that the cold, short, snowy days of winter are over and the warm, sunny days of summer are here to stay! Summer has always been my favorite season so here are some reasons why I think it's the best:
1.) My birthday is in the summer :-)
2.) My anniversary is in the summer :-)
3.) My son's birthday is in the summer :-)
4.) Going to the beach on the weekends to gaze in awe of the ocean and listen to the waves on the shore. God seems so present on the beach. The continual tides remind me of His never-ending love and the sand lets me know that although I am just a grain of sand on this earth, God so loves and cares for me.
5.) The pool- much more fun this year with our little one :-)
6.) Cooking on the grill- I wish there was a way to continue to do so in the snow- I just love grilled meat.
7.) The sounds of summer (birds chirping, kids laughing, the ice cream truck, the breeze in the trees, late night thunder storms, fireworks, amusement rides, and the lovely sound of flip-flops!)
8.) The feelings of summer (the warm, breezy air reminds of me a hug from God, the feeling of eating too much water ice too fast, water melon juice dripping down my arm, sunburn, never needed to wear a coat, sitting on our porch late at night)
9.) Daily road trips to places we don't normally go
10.) What I love the most about summer is that it reminds me of life. Nature is so alive in the summer and it amazes me that God continues to bring life to our often broken and sad world. He is speaking so loudly though all of His creation whether it be an intricate flower, the fellowship of friends during a BBQ, or the fact that he allows us longer days to enjoy his creation.
I am so thankful to be able to enjoy such a wonderful season surrounded by amazing family and friends.
What do you like the most about summer??
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Looking at life through Rose Colored (cups) :-)
I love this kid! He's already looking on the 'bright' side :-)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Circle of Life
Well, here is another faint attempt to continue to blog-- I am inspired by reading some of my friend's blogs and I think it's a great way to get some thoughts down, so here we go! :-)
It seems like so much has been happening lately:
- A few weeks ago my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We flew out to see him and say our "goodbye until heaven". It was such a wonderful trip and it brought tears to my eyes to see him play with my son (who doesn't have his own grandpas). Two weeks ago he passed away and we are flying back out for the services. My heart is getting heavy knowing the sadness that surrounds death and knowing that my grandmother is heartbroken. And although it doesn't look like there is much of a silver lining here, we were able to pray with him and I am fairly certain that he accepted Christ into his heart and will be spending eternity with the Lord. Amen! The best silver lining of all!!
- Also, my brother has been back in the hospital and in rehab and we have had the chance to visit with him about once a week. Just for the record, his willing spirit just blows my mind. He manages to have a smile on his face and enjoy our times together. Mind you, he has had over 70 surgeries and his ongoing health issues remind me of Job. Yet, I still believe that he loves Christ - again, the greatest sliver lining of all! Love ya bro!
- I celebrated my first mother's day on Sunday. My, what a blessing to be able to share my time with my boys! Being a mother has truly changed my heart. My selfishness is quickly fading and I realize more and more the importance of "shepherding my child's heart". God has been so faithful in giving us our daily bread so that I can be home with him and for this I am so blessed! Although my grandfather passed away, I can hold tight to the life lessons that he taught me and focus on teaching them to my own son.
- As we embark on our next trip west, I will tip toe around the mess that our kitchen is (they are ripping out my ceiling), try to get the little one to nap in between hammer banging, do laundry and pack, and relish in the fact that Noah just started blowing kisses and will successfully play on his own for 10-20 minutes at a time so I can do things such a post on this blog :-) (or a million other things).
Praying that God will show you the silver lining today. Have a wonderful weekend!
Blessings,
Marianne
It seems like so much has been happening lately:
- A few weeks ago my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We flew out to see him and say our "goodbye until heaven". It was such a wonderful trip and it brought tears to my eyes to see him play with my son (who doesn't have his own grandpas). Two weeks ago he passed away and we are flying back out for the services. My heart is getting heavy knowing the sadness that surrounds death and knowing that my grandmother is heartbroken. And although it doesn't look like there is much of a silver lining here, we were able to pray with him and I am fairly certain that he accepted Christ into his heart and will be spending eternity with the Lord. Amen! The best silver lining of all!!
- Also, my brother has been back in the hospital and in rehab and we have had the chance to visit with him about once a week. Just for the record, his willing spirit just blows my mind. He manages to have a smile on his face and enjoy our times together. Mind you, he has had over 70 surgeries and his ongoing health issues remind me of Job. Yet, I still believe that he loves Christ - again, the greatest sliver lining of all! Love ya bro!
- I celebrated my first mother's day on Sunday. My, what a blessing to be able to share my time with my boys! Being a mother has truly changed my heart. My selfishness is quickly fading and I realize more and more the importance of "shepherding my child's heart". God has been so faithful in giving us our daily bread so that I can be home with him and for this I am so blessed! Although my grandfather passed away, I can hold tight to the life lessons that he taught me and focus on teaching them to my own son.
- As we embark on our next trip west, I will tip toe around the mess that our kitchen is (they are ripping out my ceiling), try to get the little one to nap in between hammer banging, do laundry and pack, and relish in the fact that Noah just started blowing kisses and will successfully play on his own for 10-20 minutes at a time so I can do things such a post on this blog :-) (or a million other things).
Praying that God will show you the silver lining today. Have a wonderful weekend!
Blessings,
Marianne
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Here I am Lord...
So I am not doing too well with updating this blog and wondering if I will continue. But for now, here is a little inspiration...
I have always had a heart for older people. I really enjoy spending time with people who are so seasoned in life and who have learned so much about the world and humanity. Thus, I always have a need to reach out to older people who cross my path.
I met a wonderful woman when I was in college and attending a seniors Bible study (yes, I signed up for the wrong one, but loved it so much that the 60+ year-old women allowed me to join). She has an incredible life story and is originally from Pakistan but she and he family had to flee to Lebanon when she was a child. She has lived in numerous countries during her lifetime and speaks in a heavy accent.
I kept in touch with her during our years in Annville and now that we are back in the area I make it a point to visit with her once a month or so. A year ago her son passed away and her faith in God was shattered. She is so brokenhearted that she says she doesn't believe in God at all anymore. Her only living child lives a few hours away and she does not seem to have too many friends. But, for some reason she allows me into her home for afternoon visits and enjoys my company. I visited with her last year but, after I had Noah, our visits changed drastically.
The first time I brought the little two month old to her home, she wept. As she held him in her arms she wept for the loss of her own son. Our visits since then have been full of healing and recently, joy. Yesterday on our visit she was playing with Noah and making funny faces. Noah started laughing hysterically and soon enough she followed suit. I have not heard her laugh in over a year. She was overjoyed with him and held/played with him for over an hour.
Every now and then I try to talk with her about God, but mostly I just listen to her sorrow. At one point in our visit, I watched the two of them play and thought "God you are so at work right now... please use us show her your Grace". Our visit ended and she began to tear up when it was time for us to go. I believe in my heart that she felt the presence of God though Noah's love and joy.
My prayer is that we can minister to her during her time of doubt and pain. Isn't that what God does? He loves us and holds us no matter what our feelings are about Him...no matter how much we squirm and fuss... His strong hands hold us closer until we eventually realize that it's by His grace we are saved.
If God can use an 8 month old to show others His love, God surely can use us!
I have always had a heart for older people. I really enjoy spending time with people who are so seasoned in life and who have learned so much about the world and humanity. Thus, I always have a need to reach out to older people who cross my path.
I met a wonderful woman when I was in college and attending a seniors Bible study (yes, I signed up for the wrong one, but loved it so much that the 60+ year-old women allowed me to join). She has an incredible life story and is originally from Pakistan but she and he family had to flee to Lebanon when she was a child. She has lived in numerous countries during her lifetime and speaks in a heavy accent.
I kept in touch with her during our years in Annville and now that we are back in the area I make it a point to visit with her once a month or so. A year ago her son passed away and her faith in God was shattered. She is so brokenhearted that she says she doesn't believe in God at all anymore. Her only living child lives a few hours away and she does not seem to have too many friends. But, for some reason she allows me into her home for afternoon visits and enjoys my company. I visited with her last year but, after I had Noah, our visits changed drastically.
The first time I brought the little two month old to her home, she wept. As she held him in her arms she wept for the loss of her own son. Our visits since then have been full of healing and recently, joy. Yesterday on our visit she was playing with Noah and making funny faces. Noah started laughing hysterically and soon enough she followed suit. I have not heard her laugh in over a year. She was overjoyed with him and held/played with him for over an hour.
Every now and then I try to talk with her about God, but mostly I just listen to her sorrow. At one point in our visit, I watched the two of them play and thought "God you are so at work right now... please use us show her your Grace". Our visit ended and she began to tear up when it was time for us to go. I believe in my heart that she felt the presence of God though Noah's love and joy.
My prayer is that we can minister to her during her time of doubt and pain. Isn't that what God does? He loves us and holds us no matter what our feelings are about Him...no matter how much we squirm and fuss... His strong hands hold us closer until we eventually realize that it's by His grace we are saved.
If God can use an 8 month old to show others His love, God surely can use us!
Monday, February 15, 2010
The "small" offerings...pass it on.
This week we have been blessed.
Things are a bit different in our lives now that I am at home full-time and our times of going out are few and far between. We are making sacrifices financially, but gaining so much more in the fact that we are able to spend time with and shape Noah. The more I think about it, I wouldn't even call it a sacrifice, but a change of lifestyle. God has continued to bless us each day, by continually providing us with "our daily bread" and then some! I spent yesterday truly counting our blessings and thinking that my life is amazing. The closer I get to the heart of God the more I am able to understand how He has carried me to this point in my life and He is nothing short of indescribable! There have been some many times in my life when I stepped out in faith and God has provided me with the means to continue on His path.
This weekend Nate and I were able to go out on a date for the second time in eight months! To make it even better, God provided us with free babysitting and dinner. Ironically, it was provided by friends and a family member who are probably in a more stringent financial state than we are. The fact that they gave what they had to encourage our time out and in-turn support our marriage, truly touched me.
Their acts of kindness reminded me that no matter how difficult one's situation is, we are called to continue giving, loving, encouraging, and supporting one another. Immediately, I thought about the story in Luke 21 of the widow who gave all she had- although to the rest of the world it seemed so small, to her it was huge. Her heart followed God and her acts were done in obedience. She trusted the Lord with all of her heart, even after she lost the love of her life.
I am in awe of the blessings that God bestows on us and forever grateful for all of the many people who have touched our lives in special ways. I pray that my heart would grow closer to God so that I too can have the same faith as the giving widow. Moreover, I hope to encourage and impact others in ways that glorify the Lord.
Things are a bit different in our lives now that I am at home full-time and our times of going out are few and far between. We are making sacrifices financially, but gaining so much more in the fact that we are able to spend time with and shape Noah. The more I think about it, I wouldn't even call it a sacrifice, but a change of lifestyle. God has continued to bless us each day, by continually providing us with "our daily bread" and then some! I spent yesterday truly counting our blessings and thinking that my life is amazing. The closer I get to the heart of God the more I am able to understand how He has carried me to this point in my life and He is nothing short of indescribable! There have been some many times in my life when I stepped out in faith and God has provided me with the means to continue on His path.
This weekend Nate and I were able to go out on a date for the second time in eight months! To make it even better, God provided us with free babysitting and dinner. Ironically, it was provided by friends and a family member who are probably in a more stringent financial state than we are. The fact that they gave what they had to encourage our time out and in-turn support our marriage, truly touched me.
Their acts of kindness reminded me that no matter how difficult one's situation is, we are called to continue giving, loving, encouraging, and supporting one another. Immediately, I thought about the story in Luke 21 of the widow who gave all she had- although to the rest of the world it seemed so small, to her it was huge. Her heart followed God and her acts were done in obedience. She trusted the Lord with all of her heart, even after she lost the love of her life.
I am in awe of the blessings that God bestows on us and forever grateful for all of the many people who have touched our lives in special ways. I pray that my heart would grow closer to God so that I too can have the same faith as the giving widow. Moreover, I hope to encourage and impact others in ways that glorify the Lord.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)