Tuesday, September 25, 2012
new mercies
"His mercies are new every MINUTE". I have had one of the worst "mom" 36 hours ever. I have done everything my heart and mind tells me not to. I have yelled at my son, given him an attitude of annoyance, and just generally I have failed at showing him grace. I feel horrible. Just plain horrible. Who is this mean mom in my heart? Why do I constantly expect him to be 10 years old when he is three? Although my angry yell was because he blatantly hit his sister for really the first time in her life; his wrong action should not have produced one in me. And although he has been potty trained for 15 months and has soiled his pants without ever asking to use the potty- doesn't mean that I need to yell about it. And although he asks 5 million questions all day long about every little thing doesn't mean I give him an attitude.
God has given this little guy of mine an ability to communicate well and with that communication I sometimes treat him as though he is older than he is. God has also given him an incredible mind to ask questions and see how things work. He thirsts for knowledge in the same way that I should be thirsting for Christ. And although I have not had to change his dirty "messes" in over a year doesn't mean that I should be quick to anger when he has an accident(s).
While praying again and again and asking God for patience and forgiveness, I consistently see myself as N and the Lord as my parent. How many times does Jesus lovingly draw me close to him when I have hurt another of his children. How many times does he clean up all of my messes? How many times does he answer my millions of questions? How many times does he respond in love rather than annoyance or anger? Every. Single. Time. He Does.
Lord take his hardened heart and teach it to love my children the way you love me. Forgive me of my anger and fill my heart with more grace and love than I can imagine. Help me not to dwell on my inadequacies as a mom but to know that in my weakness your strength abides! Abide in me Lord and let me be the reason why my children commit their heart to you- let me shine your grace to them.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Early Bird
She get's up between 5:00 and 6:00am. Everyday, no matter what time she goes to bed. She's my early bird. I'm her very tired mama.
She wants time alone with me in a quiet peaceful house. She wants to play and sign songs. She wants to stand and attempt to walk. It's her time to shine and to get all of the attention. Ignoring her doesn't seem to solve the problem. Lord, please help me to see this early bird - crack of dawn- hour as a blessing. Give me strength and energy to continue my day. Help me to savor our 6:30am walks into town or to get groceries. Help me to drink deep of this time in life where it is just a fact that I do not get sleep. Help me to have peace knowing that I am not sleeping because my kids want to be with me and the situation is not the other way around. Wake up this tired mommy and help me to love on my early bird! She is an incredible joy, gift, and blessing in my life. Thank you for creating her!!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Healing the .....
Jesus Heals Ten Men With Leprosy
Luke 17:
11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[b] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.
15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.
17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
Recently, I have wrestled with the idea of gratefulness. What is it so hard for us to recognized the greatness in others and build them up? Why must we constantly find fault with one another? I am guilty of this and thankfully God is convicting me of it. I cannot help to think of what Jesus was feeling after healing the lepers. Seriously? HE HEALED them and they weren't able to think outside of themselves for one minute to thank their healer?! If I were Jesus I would have been disappointed. In fact there are many times in my life that people don't thank me for doing something for them and I am rather upset by it. I turn my servant act into me NEEDING affirmation- my selfishness wins.
But wait- there are even MORE times that I am on the receiving end of a prayer, gift, or gesture and I don't express my gratefulness either. What if we all went around building one another up? Believe it or not most of us are well aware of our faults and think about them daily; nonetheless we could always use some encouragement, kind words, or recognition.
Thanks to my awesome husband who is a constant example of giving in every area of his life- he is a gift.
Today- say thanks! Thanks to others and thanks to God for creating you, loving you, and saving you from your sin. Thanks.
Luke 17:
11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[b] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.
15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.
17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
Recently, I have wrestled with the idea of gratefulness. What is it so hard for us to recognized the greatness in others and build them up? Why must we constantly find fault with one another? I am guilty of this and thankfully God is convicting me of it. I cannot help to think of what Jesus was feeling after healing the lepers. Seriously? HE HEALED them and they weren't able to think outside of themselves for one minute to thank their healer?! If I were Jesus I would have been disappointed. In fact there are many times in my life that people don't thank me for doing something for them and I am rather upset by it. I turn my servant act into me NEEDING affirmation- my selfishness wins.
But wait- there are even MORE times that I am on the receiving end of a prayer, gift, or gesture and I don't express my gratefulness either. What if we all went around building one another up? Believe it or not most of us are well aware of our faults and think about them daily; nonetheless we could always use some encouragement, kind words, or recognition.
Thanks to my awesome husband who is a constant example of giving in every area of his life- he is a gift.
Today- say thanks! Thanks to others and thanks to God for creating you, loving you, and saving you from your sin. Thanks.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Christmas time is here!
Well, I often think about this little blog and have ideas to post, and then life happens and by the time I finally get to the computer is way past my bedtime (9pm) and I cannot process my thoughts. Oh well, my idea to have this to print and keep memories for my children is somewhat sporadic, but I guess that means they will know that during those absent blog posts I was busy reading to them, changing diapers, and making sure that our house was in a livable condition ;)
Nonetheless, this year I decided to have ALL of my Christmas 'chores' done a week before Christmas and it actually happened- who knew?! (I was a crazy mess last week, mind you) So this week we are NOT making plans, shopping, baking, wrapping or sending cards- but instead we'll be spending time together as a family, and reading and re-reading the real Christmas story and listening to Christmas music that actually has to do with Christmas. I am so excited to see what God will teach our family this week and am a planning on that true spirit of Christmas feeling to take over this very tired momma with a 2 month and 2 year old! :) We can always hope...
I encourage you to take some time out to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas even before the Christmas eve service. The incredible miracle that took place on that first Christmas is something that our minds and hearts can never fully appreciate. But, knowing that my God loves me THAT much delights my heart and I pray it delights yours too!
Merry Christmas friends- may your week if full of God's peace, joy, and love!!
Nonetheless, this year I decided to have ALL of my Christmas 'chores' done a week before Christmas and it actually happened- who knew?! (I was a crazy mess last week, mind you) So this week we are NOT making plans, shopping, baking, wrapping or sending cards- but instead we'll be spending time together as a family, and reading and re-reading the real Christmas story and listening to Christmas music that actually has to do with Christmas. I am so excited to see what God will teach our family this week and am a planning on that true spirit of Christmas feeling to take over this very tired momma with a 2 month and 2 year old! :) We can always hope...
I encourage you to take some time out to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas even before the Christmas eve service. The incredible miracle that took place on that first Christmas is something that our minds and hearts can never fully appreciate. But, knowing that my God loves me THAT much delights my heart and I pray it delights yours too!
Merry Christmas friends- may your week if full of God's peace, joy, and love!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Blogging blah...
Well I have not been in a blogging mood lately, but nonetheless I'd love to share what's been on my heart!
Recently I have been asking God to really work in my heart and examine what things about me need to change/grow/mature/ you get the idea... And wow- He has spoken and continues to do so! Just ask, my friends, and you will receive. I find myself "holding my ears singing 'la la la'" at times because I don't feel like changing things that I know I need to change, but the joy and peace that comes with walking closer to Him makes it all worth it! People often feel like they really "become themselves" when they turn 40- 50- 60- or days before their death. (Think the Oprah philosophy) I dislike this! I want to know myself and live an awesome life today. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow and I don't want to just put my nose to the grindstone and wish away these hard-working young years of our life. To be honest, those retirement days of laying on a beach and buying everything I desire will probably never happen ( :) ) But, what is happening is even better than I could have ever hoped for!
I don't want to take anything for granted anymore. I am so blessed in so many ways and I want to embrace those blessings even though trials sometimes accompany them. So although I was thrown up on yesterday, spent two hours rocking a congested baby, cleaned my floors 3 times, and did 2 loads of laundry (the day after laundry day)- I am beyond blessed! I did it all for our little child who truly is a miracle- he is healthy, happy, and beyond chatty. Spending much of my childhood in a hospital room with my amazing brother I do not take one day of health or happiness for granted!
So whatever you age, I encourage you to give it all God. Our days are short and numbered and to be honest not one of them is promised. I know this all too well and determined to make the most of today- not tomorrow or the end of the week- but today. Some days hide and seek are more of a priority than dishes and a movie night with the hubby is more important that working on taxes (lol)- I pray that God gives me wisdom to make these choices each day and that at the end of every night I can say that I am His and He is good! Thankfully a little 20 month old voice reminds me of this each night in the rocking chair as I hear a full rendition of "Jesus loves me" with an addition of "they are weak but He is strong! Jesus has muscles! :)"
Hoping your week is full of God's presence and grace!
Recently I have been asking God to really work in my heart and examine what things about me need to change/grow/mature/ you get the idea... And wow- He has spoken and continues to do so! Just ask, my friends, and you will receive. I find myself "holding my ears singing 'la la la'" at times because I don't feel like changing things that I know I need to change, but the joy and peace that comes with walking closer to Him makes it all worth it! People often feel like they really "become themselves" when they turn 40- 50- 60- or days before their death. (Think the Oprah philosophy) I dislike this! I want to know myself and live an awesome life today. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow and I don't want to just put my nose to the grindstone and wish away these hard-working young years of our life. To be honest, those retirement days of laying on a beach and buying everything I desire will probably never happen ( :) ) But, what is happening is even better than I could have ever hoped for!
I don't want to take anything for granted anymore. I am so blessed in so many ways and I want to embrace those blessings even though trials sometimes accompany them. So although I was thrown up on yesterday, spent two hours rocking a congested baby, cleaned my floors 3 times, and did 2 loads of laundry (the day after laundry day)- I am beyond blessed! I did it all for our little child who truly is a miracle- he is healthy, happy, and beyond chatty. Spending much of my childhood in a hospital room with my amazing brother I do not take one day of health or happiness for granted!
So whatever you age, I encourage you to give it all God. Our days are short and numbered and to be honest not one of them is promised. I know this all too well and determined to make the most of today- not tomorrow or the end of the week- but today. Some days hide and seek are more of a priority than dishes and a movie night with the hubby is more important that working on taxes (lol)- I pray that God gives me wisdom to make these choices each day and that at the end of every night I can say that I am His and He is good! Thankfully a little 20 month old voice reminds me of this each night in the rocking chair as I hear a full rendition of "Jesus loves me" with an addition of "they are weak but He is strong! Jesus has muscles! :)"
Hoping your week is full of God's presence and grace!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A Christmas Reminder
Hi everyone,
This is a Christmas reminder that I need every year- multiple times throughout the year actually. It is written by Renee Swope- her blog is wonderful! :0)
Merry Christmas!!
The Manger of My Heart
This Christmas, Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Fill me with your presence, from the very start.
As I prepare for the holidays, and gifts to be given,
Remind me of the gift You gave,
when you sent Your Son from Heaven.
The first Christmas gift, the greatest gift ever,
You came as a baby born in a manger.
Wrapped like the gifts I find under my tree,
Waiting to be opened, to reveal Your love to me.
This Christmas, Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Search me and know the most intimate parts.
Reveal to me if I have ever hung a sign within,
Claiming it off limits, implying “no room at the Inn.”
Restore to me the wonder that came with Jesus’ birth,
when He left the riches of Heaven
and wrapped Himself in rags of earth.
Emmanuel, God with us, Your presence came that night.
As angels announced, “Into your darkness,
God brings His Light.”
“Do not be afraid,” they said, to shepherds in the field.
Speak to my heart today, Lord, and help me to yield.
Make me like those shepherd boys, obedient to your call.
Casting distractions and worries aside,
to You I surrender them all.
Surround me with Your presence, Lord,
I long to hear your voice.
Clear my mind of concerns and all the holiday noise.
Slow me down this Christmas, let me not be in a rush.
In the midst of parties and planning,
I want to feel Your hush.
This Christmas, Jesus, come to the manger of my heart.
Invade my soul like Bethlehem, bringing peace to every part.
Dwell within and around me,
as I unwrap Your presence each day.
Keep me close to You, Jesus.
It’s in your wonderful Name I pray.
© 2010, Renee Swope ~ www.ReneeSwope.com
This is a Christmas reminder that I need every year- multiple times throughout the year actually. It is written by Renee Swope- her blog is wonderful! :0)
Merry Christmas!!
The Manger of My Heart
This Christmas, Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Fill me with your presence, from the very start.
As I prepare for the holidays, and gifts to be given,
Remind me of the gift You gave,
when you sent Your Son from Heaven.
The first Christmas gift, the greatest gift ever,
You came as a baby born in a manger.
Wrapped like the gifts I find under my tree,
Waiting to be opened, to reveal Your love to me.
This Christmas, Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Search me and know the most intimate parts.
Reveal to me if I have ever hung a sign within,
Claiming it off limits, implying “no room at the Inn.”
Restore to me the wonder that came with Jesus’ birth,
when He left the riches of Heaven
and wrapped Himself in rags of earth.
Emmanuel, God with us, Your presence came that night.
As angels announced, “Into your darkness,
God brings His Light.”
“Do not be afraid,” they said, to shepherds in the field.
Speak to my heart today, Lord, and help me to yield.
Make me like those shepherd boys, obedient to your call.
Casting distractions and worries aside,
to You I surrender them all.
Surround me with Your presence, Lord,
I long to hear your voice.
Clear my mind of concerns and all the holiday noise.
Slow me down this Christmas, let me not be in a rush.
In the midst of parties and planning,
I want to feel Your hush.
This Christmas, Jesus, come to the manger of my heart.
Invade my soul like Bethlehem, bringing peace to every part.
Dwell within and around me,
as I unwrap Your presence each day.
Keep me close to You, Jesus.
It’s in your wonderful Name I pray.
© 2010, Renee Swope ~ www.ReneeSwope.com
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thankful
Time to take a break from cooking our pre-Thanksgiving meal to share with you all some silver lining moments we have had...
Wow- to think about all of the things that my family has experienced since the last blog post and the emotion of thankfulness runs over me. My family went through a rough few weeks... during this time God held us tight. Initially I thought - well here we are, I need to decide if I want to be angry with God and my current life circumstance or if I want to embrace Him and trust that he knows me and will get us through this. There have been times in my life when I have chosen the first option and frankly distancing myself from Jesus makes my heart bitter and my mind cloudy. SO in this case my husband and I did what we are called to do and we clung tight to God's Word, love, and faithfulness. By doing so, my soul was flooded with peace and my mind was made clear to the BIG picture- the picture that consists of God creating the world- I come into play years later and am on earth for a blink and then continues loving on humans and eventually makes his return. Yes, my life is very important and God cares about every detail. But it's way bigger than me.. and you. God was here long ago and he created all humans to be in relationship with him- when we are we are doing what we are created for and the love and peace that fills our souls is priceless.
It seems ironic to me that our family's hardship occurred a few weeks before thanksgiving. And initially I wanted to be mad that it happened around the holidays- I did not want to be thankful! But with the support of my amazing husband, friends and family God has opened my heart to trust him more, to be thankful for all that I do have, and to understand that although my little life is important here on earth- it's the eternal life and holds the most weight. And oh boy, on that day that I meet Jesus face to face you bet I will be thankful and rejoicing!! So why not start now-- why not count our blessings every single one of them- there are many friends!
SO this thanksgiving season I am working on preparing my heart to welcome the Christmas season with open arms, to share what we have, to enjoy those we love, and to love on those we don't "enjoy" :0) God has amazing plans for you this holiday season- what do you think they are?? What has God been putting on your heart lately? What are some silver linings that you have been experiencing??
Blessings to you for an awesome Thanksgiving full of gratefulness for our Lord's wonderful gifts!
Wow- to think about all of the things that my family has experienced since the last blog post and the emotion of thankfulness runs over me. My family went through a rough few weeks... during this time God held us tight. Initially I thought - well here we are, I need to decide if I want to be angry with God and my current life circumstance or if I want to embrace Him and trust that he knows me and will get us through this. There have been times in my life when I have chosen the first option and frankly distancing myself from Jesus makes my heart bitter and my mind cloudy. SO in this case my husband and I did what we are called to do and we clung tight to God's Word, love, and faithfulness. By doing so, my soul was flooded with peace and my mind was made clear to the BIG picture- the picture that consists of God creating the world- I come into play years later and am on earth for a blink and then continues loving on humans and eventually makes his return. Yes, my life is very important and God cares about every detail. But it's way bigger than me.. and you. God was here long ago and he created all humans to be in relationship with him- when we are we are doing what we are created for and the love and peace that fills our souls is priceless.
It seems ironic to me that our family's hardship occurred a few weeks before thanksgiving. And initially I wanted to be mad that it happened around the holidays- I did not want to be thankful! But with the support of my amazing husband, friends and family God has opened my heart to trust him more, to be thankful for all that I do have, and to understand that although my little life is important here on earth- it's the eternal life and holds the most weight. And oh boy, on that day that I meet Jesus face to face you bet I will be thankful and rejoicing!! So why not start now-- why not count our blessings every single one of them- there are many friends!
SO this thanksgiving season I am working on preparing my heart to welcome the Christmas season with open arms, to share what we have, to enjoy those we love, and to love on those we don't "enjoy" :0) God has amazing plans for you this holiday season- what do you think they are?? What has God been putting on your heart lately? What are some silver linings that you have been experiencing??
Blessings to you for an awesome Thanksgiving full of gratefulness for our Lord's wonderful gifts!
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